wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
