Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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