Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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