What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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