May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize