she was so not down for the gang bang
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
