gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
