My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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