so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
