I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
