You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
