My brain says no but my pants say off.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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