I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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