For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
