theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize