i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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