I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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