How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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