me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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