Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
