the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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