I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
