make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
