We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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