i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
