so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
