I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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