My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
