Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
