I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
