we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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