And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
