i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
