Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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