So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
