Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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