youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
