Where did you get a picture of my penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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