i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize