Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This girl is more easily done than said...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
