i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
