why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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