Jerry, you need to find god
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I need a burrito and a hug.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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