My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize