you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
