Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
