My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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