Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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