Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
