last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
