I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Church boner. Awkwardddd
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
