Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
