I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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