I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
