so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
