she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
