I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
