I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize