There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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