You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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