he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
