my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
