is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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