this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
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