So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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