Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I want to stick my p in your. b.

Fav 14 1633 1179
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours

Fav 34 2853 2851
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself

Fav 45 1857 7489
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(678): View more from Georgia

I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.

Fav 7 3505 1092
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(940): View more from Texas

Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

Fav 10 1213 3776
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(519): View more from Ontario

sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.

Fav 5 2825 1075
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(519): View more from Ontario

No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.

Fav 3 930 1187
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store

Fav 0 119 279
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(804): View more from Virginia

If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle

Fav 0 16 19
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