just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He shit in the fireplace
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
