It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
