what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
