at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
