y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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