3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
