You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
