Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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