The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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