There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize