Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm both gender and math confused
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
